Transitioning Traditions

Perhaps the world ends here

Kitchen tables are a special place.  Family, friends, major and minor conversations held to solve the problems of the world or just our family.  In my family growing up, we rarely used the big table, only for holiday meals or special occasions.  We always ate at coffee or TV tables.  I don’t actually remember eating together at a table, just the 5 of us.  And yet, that seems really important to me today.  Interesting!  We were very close and had a dining room table.  I guess we were always running and the big table was reserved for special occasions.

When Bill was alive, there are two of us and we had a large oak table in our dining room.  When we remodeled the kitchen/family room, the dining room took on a bigger place in our home.  It was adjacent to the kitchen in a large open space.  The table expanded with a very cool mechanism to accommodate ten comfortably, or just the two of us with the dogs settled safely underneath, waiting for any stray morsels to drop.  We have actually seated 14 with some creative chair placement!  It was a comfortable place and we often had friends and family sitting with us, often just spur of the moment! Today, this beautiful table graces the dining room of our friends Tom and Teri Steig and continues to serve as a solid base for food or craft projects.  It's an amazing place to make new memories!

In years past, Spring was my favorite time each year when Bill prepared Passover Seder.  This was the only holiday he really kept sacred as a result of his Jewish faith.  He did it to remember and respect his mother, who passed away following the 1989 CA earthquake.  “There’s always room at the Passover Table”, is what I learned from my mother-in-law Ruth.  She was very generous in sharing her traditions and her faith, and included my family whenever possible.  

Each year Bill went through an interesting stress ritual, that involved tradition, last minute preparations, an elaborate menu, a need for perfection and an interesting group of friends, generally of different faiths.  Dinner was always delicious and we always had a great time reflecting on family, faith and renewal.  Even Bill…once we got to dessert.

The last year, things changed a bit.  As a result of declining health, Bill decided it was time to relinquish control of the final preparations.  A very interesting challenge for a kitchen Nazi!   We had a group of 12 – some veterans and several newcomers – for dinner.  Everyone pitched in to take part of the preparation or serving.  New friends learned the fine art of rolling the perfect matzo ball for soup.  Veterans learned about the Hagaddah and preparing/garnishing gefilte fish.  It was truly a group effort and we all agreed it was the very best Passover he’d hosted.